Pray

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Raindrop memories

Drifting

You

Got lost..

Somewhere along the way of tryin to find the place where my shadows live and where I am suposed to live with them. You see you can’t just wish that the dark parts of you were not there. You have to learn where they came from and then learn to dance with them. To dance with them means to take the lead, they follow your steps and you find a balance. Though there are times when the music falters and the beat goes astray. That is where I have been, lost in the missed beat and trying to find my footing again.

The dark got really dark this time, the more I tried to find my feet the futher I fell into it. All I wanted was to not wake up, to not cry at every little thing, to just for once..to not be strong.

I had grown tired of being strong, grown tired of being the rock,being the pillar. All I wanted was to be held so that I could break apart and still be able to find all of my pieces again.

So I got lost along the way and fell apart alone. I am gathering them back to me one fragment at a time, all the little bits of me that I still hold.

Maybe one day I will find the pieces I left in other people while trying to find the path.

I hope they know…

I want me back.

Daydream

It was a wish and a daydream. I should have known would never last, But oh how I wanted it to… Craved the feel of you in my bones.

Yet you could not separate the boy from the man long enough to see~

Morning..

It’s morning, although it looks like afternoon under the grey sky. Rain again..with sleet and other bits of cold. It keeps coating me in slickness, a form of protection against the thoughts of you. It wont last longthough,it never does.

Coffee and a smoke while I get the house warm again. My thoughts are in a mad race today. I will find out if I can walk again with out help. I will leave this prison of a house and breath again for a little while.

Spring is quietly raging inside of me, demanding I let Her free and I cant seem to cut the chains fast enough. My feet crave the warm sand of my sanctuary. The bright fire and drummed heartbeats.

This winter needs to break the way it broke me.

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