Got lost..

Somewhere along the way of tryin to find the place where my shadows live and where I am suposed to live with them. You see you can’t just wish that the dark parts of you were not there. You have to learn where they came from and then learn to dance with them. To dance with them means to take the lead, they follow your steps and you find a balance. Though there are times when the music falters and the beat goes astray. That is where I have been, lost in the missed beat and trying to find my footing again.

The dark got really dark this time, the more I tried to find my feet the futher I fell into it. All I wanted was to not wake up, to not cry at every little thing, to just for once..to not be strong.

I had grown tired of being strong, grown tired of being the rock,being the pillar. All I wanted was to be held so that I could break apart and still be able to find all of my pieces again.

So I got lost along the way and fell apart alone. I am gathering them back to me one fragment at a time, all the little bits of me that I still hold.

Maybe one day I will find the pieces I left in other people while trying to find the path.

I hope they know…

I want me back.

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Just a moment of your time..

It is so much harder today trying to get myself going. There is sunshine and I want to go stand in it but can’t seem to pull myself out of the darkness. I know you wll probaby never read these things I pour out,spilling them over the place that you held sway. All I every really wanted was your time, that all the other things would come in waves that I could ride out and embrace. But it seems that your time was the only thing you could not give, so I have stopped asking for it, and now even your words are hard to find.

There is something about the way the breeze pulls across my skin, that reminds me of memories I don’t have anymore,lost in a life time gone past.
It feels good and bittersweet, like the last time I tasted the sunshine from your lips before the rain washed it all away.
Tripping through forget-me-nots and trying to etch the shape of your smile
into my mind,so the fragrance won’t leave me blind to the bliss I see there-

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