Rambles on a Monday…

Here I am sitting in this too humid for the last day of September night, having had my meal of a small pizza. Serving size 1. Sipping on some red wine and thinking its about fucking time I did a rambling free write.
I haven’t in a while.
I have had a lot going on.
This whole year has been so much of “a lot going on”, that I am not sure I will know how to react when I don’t have it there anymore. But that’s the goal right? Get to a place where you are just living your life on a day to day. Wake up, have coffee,decide what you will create that day, and just do that. I know its the place I want to get to. But I also know that for right now, I have to keep doing what I am doing. I have to keep the “day job” so I can actually exist, to do things like have food and internet.
I don’t really want a whole lot in this life. Enough land to have my greenhouse and gardens, a small cottage type house for all my books with studio for art and a kick ass kitchen. I am already living in a camper so small is good with me.

I just want to have that feeling of peace that I used to get when I was wrapped inside someones arms,except I want it to be my own arms that give it now. I deserve that. I have earned that.

I feel like I am wading into a sea of forgotten feelings, all those things that I closed the door to because letting them in just made it hurt more when they went away. A sailor in the crows nest looking down at the ship floating inside of the universe, and I am caught by the beauty of what it can be. I have found myself becoming a bit jaded about the aspect of a partner in this life, and moments like that make me wonder just how thick my walls have gotten this time.

20190713_085758-EFFECTS

©July 2019 Fern Renee Photography

Advertisements

Pray

The break..

I took part in a prison break today. My own escape from the walls of my house into the world at large.

My first stop was the doctor’s office where they shot xrays at my leg and said looks good! So now I can wear actual shoes! On both feet even! I know, I know..crazy exciting stuff here. My life is filled with these sorts of things.

But after that it was stopping to get provisions for the return trip and future exile back in the place of home. Food,wine, and a few seasons of some shows from the library.

I am ready for a real break..a break out of this place and out of the life I have been living.

As soon as I get my wheels…this bitch is gone!

Somedays…

I tell myself in the mirror sometimes..

“You’re a hotty…but today.. You’re a frizzy haired witch in plaid. Still hot though..<3”

Dragon Fire

Fire Spinning by Dancing Ravens

DSCF3524©Fern’s Fronds Photography

DSCF3585©Fern’s Fronds Photography

DSCF3592©Fern’s Fronds Photography

 

There was a current
in the air and it sparked
the flames that we danced
for, ignited the eyes
of the dragon and
together we moved
in beat and time
the drummed out
prayer sent up
and left to fly-

Snowy rambles….

Today there is snow. I watched it starting to drift down last night as I was heading to bed. Just small little bits of fluff, it had been spitting snow off an on most of the day yesterday, but this morning there is snow. The first dusting of the season, with powder like flakes and fat lacy flakes.

It can be very beautiful.

It can also be pretty damn cold. I have mentioned I am not a fan of the cold. Oh well, tis the season, yes.

I have a lot of things to be doing over the next week or so. I have gotten my trees up and my outside lights up. Now I have a table full of odd craft pieces,beads, jewelry, tools,screws and silk floral parts to sort and find homes for, and to begin the onslaught of creative things. Yule is coming and I am not prepared, I have a secret santa gift to get sent out, and other gifts to make, oh and fudge! I am making fudge for gifts, because it’s the best stuff I have ever made.

so I will leave you with some of the pics from the last few days. and the snow from this morning, and hopes that you have  beautiful day where ever you are.

©Fern Photography 2016

Sunrise rambles…

I watched the sun rise through the trees this morning,with the company of cold air, brilliant blue sky sprinkled with small soft wisps of rose colored clouds.

It was flawless in its beauty.

The air cold enough that the frost isn’t melting away from everything just yet, but it  is starting to fade. I am not a huge fan of winter, I don’t do cold well, but this winter I am looking forward to being in the woods with the snow and the frost and the ice.

I will go out in it and marvel at the beauty of it.

I don’t have much more to ramble about today, just gonna drink my coffee and start on the endless list of things to get done.

I hope you find the beauty you seek in all that you see.

 

20161207_090230

©Fern Photography 2016

 

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: